Sunday, July 19, 2009

Self-destroyer



Once again, I find myself influenced (out of boredom) by the music on the radio. For some reason tonight, my usual station (the Christian station WCTL) was not coming in at all very clear on my stereo- on any of its frequencies, and I tuned into the classic rock station in the area, and the Kinks' Destroyer was playing. The following lines made me think of certain comments directed at me recently (after I warned someone that he was destroying himself with his own paranoid delusions.):
"Silly boy you got so much to live for
So much to aim for, so much to try for
You blowing it all with paranoia
Youre so insecure you self-destroyer"
This person, who shall not be named, has developed a nasty pattern of turning on those who try to help him, and blaming them for his actions. He's alienated those who cared for him, and stabbed each and everyone of them in the back with his paranoid accusations, and sociopathic tendencies, and now wonders why he is alone. I have been referred to as a "stalker" because I continued to check out his blog on a semi-regular basis, despite the fact that he turned on me for no reason at all, other than his own paranoia that *I* was the one responsible for everyone else turning their backs on him. While I took it initially as an empty compliment that he believed I posessed some super power to influence others, it really made me sad that he was so far gone that he actually BELIEVED it. Hopefully, this person (who is most likely reading this entry) will wake up and get the help he needs before his paranoia does destroy him.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sweetie...deep down people usually know the truth. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to surface past the emotions and self-justifications but usually it does eventually. I love you and I love that other person too....very much. But, I honestly believe that no matter what is said, what accusations are thrown around...it's time to stop responding in any way, shape or form. The fire needs fuel to survive and since it is no longer getting it from other sources it is turning to you because you are a sensitive person. It NEEDS you to respond so it can keep itself alive. WHat we want for this person is for that fire to die so God can finally break through and help them. THe fire is acting as a wall and we cannot feed it any longer. Let it go. Pray for him. Do battle before God for him. Welcome him back with open arms and a huge hug of love if/when he comes out of this. But please, hun, stop feeding the fire. It's "tough love" time for all of us.

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